


Encounter

by stew (julie)



Category: The X-Files
Genre: First Time, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1996-01-01
Updated: 1996-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-22 09:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22713916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/stew
Summary: Mulder opens the front door of his apartment late one night – and has a most unexpected encounter with Assistant Director Skinner.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Walter Skinner
Kudos: 8





	Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:** Set just after the events of the video _The Unanswered File_ (episodes "Anasazi", "The Blessing Way" and "Paper Clip"). 
> 
> **First published:** in my zine Homosapien #4 on 1 January 1996.

# Encounter 

♦

‘Sir?’ Mulder asked with concern only adding to the pounding of his heart. ‘Sir?’

Skinner laughed under his breath, dropped his head for a moment. ‘You still call me that? After what I just did?’

When Skinner looked up again, those unreadable deep brown eyes of his lacked their usual boldness. Mulder searched Skinner’s expression, and his apparent openness, for Mulder was as curious as ever. He figured he had the advantage of night vision, because his apartment was still dark, and Skinner had come in from the brightly lit hallway only minutes ago.

They had stood this close once before, quite recently. They had been this close – closer – when Mulder, out of his mind on LSD or amphetamines or whatever the hell it had been, had taken a swing at his boss in an FBI corridor. His boss who had proceeded to render Mulder ineffective by way of a very efficient choke-hold. _Are we done here, agent Mulder?_ Skinner had demanded, holding the younger man close against his chest. Then, Skinner had seemed to contain Mulder without effort. Now, it seemed to take every ounce of the assistant director’s strength and willpower to remain standing this close to the special agent – just to stand there, nothing more.

Mulder’s gaze explored the man’s face, wondering. There was that unusual hesitancy hovering in Skinner’s eyes – but perhaps the only other things that gave him away were the barest hint of condensation at the bottom of each lens of his glasses, and the faintest touch of heat along his cheekbones.

‘Why shouldn’t I call you _sir_ , sir?’ Mulder asked.

Another laugh from Skinner, not nervous, though the man was hardly relaxed. No, Mulder was glad to see Skinner had the nerve to actually be amused in this situation. Skinner replied, ‘I just forced a sexual act upon you, agent Mulder. You could start calling me _Walter_. Either that or _you queer bastard_.’

Mulder said, very easily, ‘Do you want to sit down, Walter?’

‘You don’t find that wall comfortable?’

Grinning, Mulder leaned his head back against said wall. ‘Is that your venue of choice for forced sexual acts?’

Skinner dropped his head again, maybe ashamed. The dimness slid across the skin of his bare skull in interesting patterns, and down into the close-cropped hair, the frames of his glasses glinting for a moment as they caught a little light. ‘No.’

‘Hey,’ the younger man said gently, ‘I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t –’

‘ _You’re_ sorry?’ Those dark eyes were fierce now, but seeking to understand despite the surge of anger. ‘I should be the one apologizing. I come here, I walk in your front door, and I have you up against the wall, I have my hand inside your jeans without even kissing you –’

‘You wanted to kiss me?’ Mulder broke in.

Silence, the anger draining away into shame again.

‘I was apologizing because I didn’t give you a chance,’ Mulder explained. ‘I mean, if you’d planned to do this in my bed, if you wanted to kiss me, if you wanted me to return the favor, well, you didn’t get the chance.’ He echoed Skinner’s laugh of a moment before. ‘It’s been a long while for me. I was a little trigger happy.’

In turn, Skinner echoed Mulder’s searching gaze. Mulder reminded himself yet again not to underestimate this man. Skinner might appear to be nothing more than part of the bureaucracy, but he was very astute and very brave, and he always played his cards very close to his chest. Eventually Skinner simply asked the obvious question: ‘A long while since what?’

‘Since I last had sex. There was a woman, I was on a case in California when Scully was missing. The woman died, though. She took the bad guys out, and decided to go with them.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘So was I.’

‘You’re –’ Skinner was still searching, though there was something colder about him now, something more clinical in his eyes. ‘You’re taking this very well, agent Mulder. Has this happened to you before?’

‘Oh no,’ Mulder replied with another laugh. He supposed he was indeed being a little too nonchalant about this whole situation, slouching there against the wall with his jeans undone and his semen cooling on assistant director Skinner’s hands. ‘I’ve never had sex with my boss, against a wall, in the middle of the night.’ He decided to show a little mercy, and said quietly, ‘I’ve never had sex with a man before, Walter.’

‘No? So why did you let me?’

‘I guess I’m open-minded.’

‘You could have fought me off.’

‘As you reminded me at the time,’ Mulder pointed out. He quoted the only words Skinner had spoken – ‘ _There’s at least ten different ways you could kill me with your bare hands right now, agent Mulder. Don’t._ ’ Mulder smiled. ‘But I always did like my neck being bitten.’

Skinner stood there regarding him. ‘I must be a fool.’

‘It’s not foolish to trust where you know you can,’ Mulder said with sincerity. ‘You can trust me with this.’ He found Skinner’s right hand hanging at his side, touched it.

Embarrassed, Skinner pulled away, stepped back, and brought a cotton handkerchief out of a trouser pocket to wipe away the trace evidence. Only then would he let Mulder hold his hand.

‘Come and sit down,’ Mulder invited again. ‘Can I get you a drink?’

‘Yes,’ Skinner said, sounding as if he needed it. ‘What were you doing? The place is dark.’ And he glanced at Mulder, who was obviously not dressed for bed.

‘Thinking,’ Mulder replied, ‘in the dark.’ He coaxed Skinner’s coat off his shoulders, leaving him still impeccably attired in an FBI-clone suit and tie. Then Mulder led him over to the couch, sat him down there. It seemed Skinner would have preferred the single armchair, which was perhaps safe and isolated, but Mulder stubbornly insisted and after a moment’s hesitation Skinner settled obediently. The younger man turned on the desk lamp, poured them each a generous double of whisky, and handed one drink over.

‘Thanks.’ Skinner took the glass in both hands, holding it between strong palms, fingers wrapped tightly. Mulder watched this, thinking of those competent hands and what they’d done to him. The older man glanced up, looked away and took a nervous sip of the spirits. With the greatest sarcastic forbearance, Skinner said, ‘Would you mind doing up your jeans, agent Mulder?’

‘Sure.’ And he did so, not bothering to turn discreetly away or to fasten the button. Then Mulder sat close beside Skinner and said, ‘Why did this happen, Walter?’

Silence, but only for a moment, before Skinner blurted out, ‘All I know, Fox, is that I almost –’

‘Ah, no,’ Mulder interrupted with a laugh. ‘Don’t call me that. Even Scully doesn’t call me that.’

Skinner looked at him, hands still firmly wrapped around the chunky glass. ‘Fox,’ he said very deliberately, ‘I almost lost you. I did lose you for a while.’ A simple statement of fact. ‘Regained you. Then, when they took that data cassette, and I needed it to bargain for your life –’

‘Yes?’

‘I’ve rarely been that scared.’

‘Which is when you realized,’ Mulder filled in for him, ‘that you cared about me.’

Skinner cast him a dirty glare. ‘What kind of cheap books do you read, agent Mulder?’

He couldn’t help but smile, though he said, ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to reduce your feelings to a cliché.’

The apology was repaid with truth. ‘That’s not when I realized. I’ve been attracted to you for some time, Fox. You’re the kind of person – Well, you must be used to that, people finding you attractive.’

Mulder shook his head, uncertain of where Skinner could have drawn that conclusion from. Unless it was simply the older man projecting his own feelings onto everyone around him. ‘No,’ Mulder said in reply.

Apparently this declared ignorance was not given much credence. Skinner took another sip of the whisky, then put the glass down on the coffee table, still mostly full. He said impatiently, ‘You’re a good-looking man, there’s no denying it. But it’s more than that. There’s something mysterious, something inexplicable about you, something that draws people to you –’

‘Spooky Mulder strikes again.’

‘Don’t take _Spooky_ as an insult,’ Skinner quickly said. ‘I think it’s more an expression of people’s fascination.’

‘Oh, come on, sir… I repel people, not fascinate them. They think I’m weird.’

Skinner looked at him. ‘You’re difficult to get to know, yes. You keep people at a distance. But that doesn’t mean people aren’t interested in making the effort.’

‘Well, so far you’re the only one who’s beaten a path to my door claiming a bad case of unrequited lust. Maybe we should be asking why _you’re_ the one who acted in response to all this magnetic attraction of mine.’

A moment, and then Skinner neatly turned the subject of the conversation back around to Mulder. ‘What really drew me to you is your enthusiasm,’ Skinner said. ‘Your commitment and your energy. The few times I’ve seen you discouraged, it almost broke –’ The man glared forward at the far wall, tight-lipped. ‘Now you have me talking in clichés. I hate to see you discouraged. Tired. But it proves you’re human, too, and that’s no bad thing for any of us.’

‘No, it isn’t,’ Mulder agreed. He considered the man sitting beside him. ‘You know, Scully loves me for my passion, too. She never did this for me, though.’

The tight-lipped look did not ease. ‘I have the utmost respect for agent Scully. She is a very professional officer, a credit to the bureau. In fact, I’ve often thought she may have the sharpest intelligence of anyone I know.’

Mulder stared at him in surprise. And then hooted with laughter. ‘You’re jealous of her. You’re jealous of Scully.’

Taut silence. ‘I do believe you are inferring more about my feelings and motivations than actually exists.’

‘Of course,’ the younger man said gently, though he couldn’t lose the humor of it. ‘Of course. But don’t be jealous. Scully is the only friend I have that I can be open about. She and I didn’t even have that for a while, and it hurt. I have other friends, but it’s good to be open about something that important.’ Mulder leaned forward a little, tried to catch Skinner’s eye. ‘This is secret, too, isn’t it? My life is full of secret assignations.’

‘This has to remain secret, agent Mulder.’

‘There’s no one I’m going to tell. Except for Scully, if she needs to know.’

Skinner glanced at him sourly. ‘Is she always your one exception?’

‘Yes,’ Mulder said with a smile that did not detract from his seriousness – ‘but even Scully calls me Mulder.’

It seemed Skinner would not relent on that one.

Mulder continued, ‘I have friends, like I said. However, she is the only person in this world, or in any world, that I truly trust.’

A beat passed. ‘I would have thought I’d proved myself by now,’ Skinner said stiffly. ‘I would have thought you could trust me.’

Mulder watched the man, who sat there carefully not feeling offended. Skinner had done so much for the sake of Mulder and Scully’s safety – Mulder had always figured he himself wasn’t aware of even half what Skinner had gone through in dealing with the bad guys and the bureaucracy on their behalf. Recently, it had been an international group of very powerful bad guys, including the black-lunged bastard, who had shot Scully’s sister, thinking they were eliminating a troublesome FBI agent. Who had murdered Mulder’s father. ‘Yeah,’ Mulder said at last. ‘Yeah, just give me time. Trust doesn’t come very easily to me anymore. My faith in some things is without question. But in other things, in people – I’m perfectly aware that’s all screwed up for me. I have bits of it round the wrong way.’

‘I understand.’

Letting out a humorless laugh, Mulder asked, ‘Do you? Explain it to me sometime.’

‘I like that –’ Skinner apparently had second thoughts, but then he continued, ‘I like that you remain open and curious, and you see and listen clearly, even though you don’t trust.’

‘Good. Thank you.’ Mulder smiled at him, then said, ‘But there’s a difference in this. This is personal, what’s just happened between you and me. It’s no one’s business but ours –’

‘And Scully’s,’ was the sarcastic interruption.

‘If she needs to know. What I’m getting to is that I don’t need the Office of Professional Responsibility taking any more interest in me. The bureau hardly needs another reason to kick me out.’

‘You were – the innocent party in this.’

‘They wouldn’t see it that way, they wouldn’t see either of us as innocent. Anyway, I’m not crying assault and turning you over to them.’ Mulder took a mouthful of his whisky, set the glass down on the table beside Skinner’s, and at last touched the man sitting so close beside him – he reached to hold Skinner’s hand again. ‘I don’t see it that way, either, you know. Me being an innocent party.’

A moment, and then Skinner nodded acceptance of this.

‘But that’s the difference in this. I can trust you with sex. It’s not about trusting you with life and limb and sanity.’

‘Yes, I understand,’ Skinner said, though again he seemed to be more offended than he was willing to show.

Mulder said, ‘You told me once about your out-of-body experience, you told me you knew of that mystery. But was there another reason for you supporting me, and keeping the X-files open? Another reason that you couldn’t tell me back then?’

‘I’ve tried not to make decisions based on the fact I’m attracted to you, agent Mulder, if that’s what you’re implying. I want to say I _haven’t_ , but I know that’s unrealistic.’

‘You didn’t support me just because you’re attracted to me?’

Skinner’s attempt at not being offended finally became open impatience. ‘I believe we’ve talked this to an unnatural death, agent Mulder. If we’ve reached an understanding in this matter, then it’s time I left.’

‘No, don’t go.’ And Mulder clutched at the man’s hand, hard enough that he didn’t even try to stand.

Silence, and that tight-lipped annoyance. ‘Agent Mulder,’ Skinner finally said, deliberate again. ‘Almost losing you, working so hard on saving you, that focused me. I’d been attracted to you for a long while, but recent events made me become very focused on you, and that led to this happening.’

‘You want to just explain it away?’

‘It’s learned behavior, this attraction and this focus. Behavior that I can unlearn.’

‘No, don’t do that,’ Mulder protested.

‘I don’t want to live with this. I can’t, and I won’t.’

‘Then live with more than this.’

‘There can’t be any more than this.’ But Skinner turned to look at him. ‘What are you suggesting? This is crazy.’

Mulder shrugged easily. ‘I don’t know. More secret assignations? Would you like that?’

‘You wouldn’t.’ The man sounded bitter. ‘You offer to do this with me, you’ll humor me, in return for my support of the X-files?’

‘I don’t operate that way, Walter. This isn’t about making a deal.’

‘Are you –’ A pause for breath. Voice still bitter. ‘Are you that lonely, agent Mulder?’

‘Yes, of course I get lonely,’ Mulder said. ‘But I don’t figure this will go a hell of a long way to solving that, do you?’

Skinner shook his head, though at last he was beginning to return the pressure of Mulder’s hand.

‘We can do this, we can humor each other, because we’d both like it. You can support me and the X-files because you believe in me, and you believe in the truth that’s out there. You can support Scully because you have the utmost respect for her.’ Mulder smiled at the man. ‘That’s enough for now, don’t you think?’

A nod, though less certain than before. Skinner was staring at him, holding Mulder’s hand tightly. ‘Fox,’ he said.

‘Yes.’

And then Skinner was leaning close. While Mulder waited for his kiss, Skinner again slid in to bite and gnaw at Mulder’s neck. Gripping the man’s hand to convey encouragement, Mulder tilted his head back, letting this take its course. Lonely and deprived, sure – but Mulder figured he would have liked this anyway, for it seemed Skinner had plenty of passion of his own.

Skinner’s free hand spread flat against Mulder’s belly, kneading flesh through the loose sweater. ‘Here,’ Mulder murmured, shifting up straighter and pulling away only far enough so he could haul the sweater off over his head, leaving his chest bare.

Immediately Skinner began again, mouth gnawing along a collarbone, hands working at the zip of Mulder’s jeans.

‘Walter – Damn, that’s good. Are you going to – Come to the bed.’

‘No,’ the man said.

‘Then let me – at least, let me do this for you, as well.’

Silence, and that maddening mouth roaming down Mulder’s chest to fasten on a nipple.

Mulder hissed his surprise, couldn’t help but arch back in reaction. This was all going to be over very soon, for he was in need and Skinner seemed in no mood to help prolong the act. ‘Walter. Let me touch you, too, damn it.’

Took all his stubborn determination against an equally stubborn man, but Mulder found Skinner’s belt buckle, fumbled it and the trousers open, getting in Skinner’s way as often as not. Found his way through the shirt-tails and shorts. Touched a man with sexual love for the first time, and drove that man wild for a few precious moments with his eager exploring caress.

It all finished in a tangle of limbs, Mulder sprawled back on the couch, Skinner somehow supported over him, hands busy chasing every ounce of completion and letting it spill over.

Panting for breath in an awry embrace. Satisfied and wanting more, but knowing that this particular assignation was done. Too soon, Skinner pulled away, stood. Mulder let him go with great reluctance. Watched as Skinner again wiped his hands clean on his handkerchief, and then leaned down to do the same for Mulder – briskly wiping his hands, his belly.

‘Walter?’

‘Fox.’

‘Don’t unlearn this, OK?’

The man had rearranged his clothing, and now took off his glasses, examined them critically. Giving up on his handkerchief, Skinner hauled out a shirt-tail to polish the lenses, then slid the glasses on again, tucked the shirt back in. ‘We’ll see.’

Mulder stretched out his limbs, hunched one shoulder up then the other to lengthen his spine. He clambered clumsy to his feet. Followed the man to the door. ‘You didn’t kiss me yet,’ he said.

Skinner finally looked directly at him with those dark brown eyes. Those dark eyes full of unreadable meaning. He opened the door so they could see each other’s face in the harsh light. Mulder blinked, and leaned back against the wall. Skinner said, ‘No, I didn’t, did I?’ And he caught up his coat and was gone.

Letting out a breath, Mulder reset the locks and wandered into his bedroom. Really, he couldn’t help but smile. _Well, Scully_ , Mulder said to himself, _I do believe I’ve just begun an affair with Assistant Director Skinner_. He pictured her reaction to that – silence full of surprise and doubt – exasperation of the _What craziness are you getting us into now?_ variety. Her eyes wide in a pale solemn face. Mulder laughed happily before tumbling into bed and into sleep.

♦


End file.
